Thursday, August 31, 2006

Caring too much

It is a dangerous thing when you allow yourself to get so involved, so invested in something you believe so very passionately in.

Nothing wrong with caring - but when others are in control of whether you get to share it, when promises are made, when hours are spent, when money and time comes out of your own pocket because you BELIEVE (and all the while you think that you have an incredible chance to make a difference, to influence thinking, to inspire people) in what you are doing, that you finally have a golden opportunity to really nail it... well, maybe you can see this coming...

I did not do my 12 minute tech presentation today. No time, sorry. The handouts went into a shockingly large pile of my presentations that have met the same fate. I was crushed.

Thank goodness the kids are coming next week, I've had enough of all the rest that goes with being a teacher.

I will get over this. My wife will kill me if I don't dump it quickly - it is Labor Day weekend, for goodness sake. By the time the kids walk through the door in 6 days, I will be ready to care again - and my caring will make a difference this time.

7 comments:

David said...

Man, that's harsh. Keep the faith...perhaps this will just intensify your already deep passion for working with kids.

Doug said...

I'm sorry to hear about this disappointment, and I can all too easily imagine how it feels. Don't give up. There will come a day.

Graham Wegner said...

Maybe a better spin on this goes as follows - because you shared your plans with the world, your presentation is going ahead anyway, maybe piece by piece, (I used one piece already on Wednesday night here) in more than one school and thereby affecting more than just your immediate colleagues. I too have recommended "The World Is Flat" and I am going to read your two linked articles (and share them here). So, because you blogged your ideas, your efforts are not wasted - educators like David and Doug and me will push your ideas in our little communities. Don't you feel better already?

Mark Ahlness said...

Thanks for the support, guys. Just to clarify, I'm not looking to host a pity party here. My initial - and still lingering - reaction to the cancellation was anger. I certainly will not give up, but I definitely will play my cards differently from now on.

Karl Fisch said...

Two steps forward, 1.98 steps back sometimes. Is there a way you can "present" to your staff without the staff meeting? Either invite them all afterschool one day to the best 15 minutes they'll spend in the week before school starts? Or simply direct them to your blog entry with links to what you want to talk about? And put the handouts in their mailboxes?

I know it's not the same, but maybe it's a start.

Bud Hunt said...

I sooo feel your frustrations. And anger. Sounds like you fell victim to poor management. I'd be angry, too.

Enjoy your new students and their excitement. With them, you can explore and do amazing things, while the other "grown-ups" miss out.

Mark Ahlness said...

Karl, I will definitely share it, but on a voluntary basis, as you said - I might just plunk your piece on our local server...

I am planning tech "training" - gosh I hate that word, but I can't think of another one right now - on a voluntary basis this year, after school in our lab, and then some online evening sessions (probably using Skype). Thanks again.

Bud, you are so right about the kids!